Hashers! You may be thinking to yourselves “Goddam DYD is a deadbeat, waiting to the last moment to release the top-secret address to Saturday’s Hash,” and I would have to agree with you and offer humble apologies, and then throw myself upon your merciful hearts when we make it to circle.
Breakfast in America Hash! Hares Don’tYouDare and Virgin Hare Will (a.k.a Stabby Stabby) will lay a delightfully wicked trail through Hamden where there will be our beloved paved surfaces as well as a smile-inducing amount of off road Hashing. No real shiggy to speak of, unless we can get your asses lost, and no poison ivy, which makes TTT damn near giddy. There will be Bacon-Infused Bourbon on trail, as well at Oatmeal Stout. Perhaps a bagel fight? You’ll have to Hash it to find out for sure. Oh, and there will be Big H3AD (winky). On Out is EARLY! 10:00 AM! And now for the details (if only to keep Back Tits at bay):
EVENT: Breakfast in America Hash
Date: Saturday, November 22nd
On Out: 10:00 AM, or 1000 for you Jarheads and Squids
Location: 41 Todd Street, Hamden CT 06518
Parking: In the Farmington Canal Trail lot, or nearby and walk the trail to Todd Street
Distance: About Four-ish miles
Strollerable: Nope, definitely not.
Hash Cash: $5.00 Cheap
New Shoes: Always strongly encouraged
This Saturday our own Tap That Teacher may be seen traipsing around the neighborhood of West Haven clad in nothing more than a diaphenous white schiff as she lays trail for our annual White Dress Hash – Winter is Cuming! While TTT is always game for the saucier side of White Dresses (think Victoria’s Secret collides with Billy Idol’s White Wedding) she has expressed concern of a cold Hash now that we’re into the early part of Novembrrrr, so White Dress accordingly. That’s right, skimpy rules the day, prudish attire drinks at Circle for being wusses. Let the Hash details begin!
WHERE? The far left of the parking lot near Jimmie’s at Savin Rock – 5 Rock Street, West Haven CT 06516.
DATE? Saturday, Novembrr 8th.
ON OUT? 2:00 PM Sharpish!
DRINK CHECKS? TWO! WooHoo!
HASH CASH? $5, Cheap!
STROLLERABLE /DOGABLE? Why do we even ask this?
SHIGGY? Maybe. Maybe not. It’s West Haven, fer cryin out loud.
ID NEEDED? Only if you want your corpse identified.
WHITE DRESSES? Not mandatory, but kinda desired if you want to be sexy.
Lastly, there’s a special treat for every Hasher wearing new shoes!
On On! DYD
On the anniversary of Pablo Picasso’s birth, the hash in New Haven this
Saturday will feature cubist perspectives, psychedelic foliage, breathtaking
views, precipitous views, modern art, classical art, obscene art, decadent
art, delicious beer, gratuitous wine & cheese, and a perfectly situated food
Following extremes of barometric pressure, the weather has finally decided
There will be a trail for hashers who would like to rampage through
approximately six miles of breathtaking beauty and a trail for hashers who
prefer only three miles of beauty.
Given the proximity to Halloween, costumes are not prohibited.
Note: Do not miss this hash unless you have one of the following conditions:
3. viagra or cialis overdose (see your doctor)
The details may be found in prior emails, but they are duplicated below for
DATE: SATURDAY, OCTOBER 25, 2014
TIME: 2:00 PM
ON-OUT: 1175 STATE ST, NEW HAVEN (PARK IN THE BACK-LEFT CORNER OF THE
ON-IN: BRING HASH CASH FOR FOOD TRUCK AND SECONDARY VENUES
NUDES & BEER HASH
For those who played with their erector sets, and know how to handle nuts and bolts, this is the Hash for you!
For those who immersed their fingers in jars of paint, and splattered gobs of it on their clothes, this is the Hash for you!
For those who enjoy nudes, beer, and historic landmarks, and an appreciation for creativity, this is the Hash for you!
GUEST HARE: DIRTY HOE
DATE: SATURDAY, OCTOBER 25, 2014
TIME: 2:00 PM
ON-OUT: 1175 STATE ST, NEW HAVEN (CROSSFIT SIDE, PARK IN THE BACK-LEFT CORNER)
ON-ON: VARIOUS TRAILS (SUITABLE FOR SLOTHS, GAZELLES, AND OTHERS)
ON-IN: BRING HASH CASH ($5)
Summarizing Don’tYouDare’s Pants-Off Dance-Off Hash will be from an odd perspective since 1. I’m Don’tYouDare, 2. I kind of live-Hared it to the first Booze Check, and 3. I kind of Hashed it from there. So rather than trying to capture the harrowing events and wild dancing done on trail with any sense of witty repartee, I think I’ll stick with my numbering system to summarize the long day that it was.
1. Haring with chalk in the rain bites ass. Giant ass, if I may. To compensate, as I’m so wont to do, I left most trail marks on vertical surfaces, which made them hard to see (that’s what she said) for Hashers who are accustomed to looking to the ground for direction. Also, at the Checks where I had so cleverly planned a dance event I did an ass-bitey job of marking the lead up to said dance event, thwarting my cleverness. In hindsight, I should have drank at Circle for stupidassedness, buty I didn’t. I suspect I may on the 25th, however.
B. Live Haring is more fear-inducing than I had imagined (had never live-Hared before, and definitely has never solo live-Hared. Yipe!). It shouldn’t have been, though. I had already marked the trail, so it should have been a no-brainer, but I kind of just wandered through the first half of the trail when I originally marked, so I was remarking as Hare and maybe Hashing a little bit, too. Perhaps the greatest source of fear was in the knowledge we had at least two serious FRBers Hashing in Bleeding Hash and Panda Sexpress, and I in no way was prepared to lose my pants if caught (although it would have been an interesting Leeroy Jenkins event).
3. First Booze Check was an On The Foot (Off The Foot?) where I was finally able to rid my refrigerator of the bleu cheese-stuffed olives that had been in my fridge for the past four years. The martini was vile and tasted of ball sweat, it was claimed by Gash, and I had to take his word on his taste comparison.
4. After the shitty martini we ran into Taint No Savior and his chick (Paige?) from Skull and Boners H3. Hi Taint!
5. Hashing a trail you’ve Hared, even if you’re absolutely not certain of every twist and turn, can be quite amusing. Amusement is exponential when you realize you can watch the Kennel follow the Check Backs you’ve laid.
F. Beer Check was found in an abandoned manufacturing complex, and I did a silent Phew that it was still there. I had planned for more beer and water than I’d need, and poor Virgin Steve (or was it Virgin Bob?) had to hump that shit when we On Outed again. Being wise to the trail I short-cutted forward while most of the Kennel (minus Smashmouth, who doesn’t cotton to shenanigans) was dispatched to crawl under or climb over a rusty and Tetanus-threatening fence.
7. Bonus Beer OTF! WooHoo! Another Check Back! Woo to the effing Hoo!
8. Kennel disintegrated well before the On In at O’Toole’s. Tap That Teacher and Hentai Me Down were long lost, Smashmouth and Tweedle Dumb didn’t wait at the Bonus OTF and were well in front, and Face-Full of Leeroy and Panda said “eff it” and short-cutted in when they became distracted at the last true Check. Only the Virgin, Gash and DYD had the fun of Gangnam dancing across Elm Street.
9. FRB? TTT, I think. DFL? Maybe that was TTT, too. I gotta take better notes.
10. Hi I’m Gay met us at the On In and offered up some refreshing songs at Circle where he guest Beer Bitched. Thanks, HIG! There were accusations and accolades disguised as accusations, a welcoming of Virgin Bob and some cleverly-disguised booze in lieu of beer Down Downs. Shitty times, fellow Hashers. Shitty times, indeed.
On On – DYD
While scouting the trail for this Saturday’s New Haven I got a bit lost. Okay, maybe a lot lost. I’d scouted what I thought was the basic plan for this hash a few weeks before so a simple retracing of steps was in order, but I was sadly, sadly mistaken (said the guy who wears GPS tech on trail).
Goddam you, Hentai.