Hashmat 8 is less than one week away!!

Friday Pub Crawl Updates!!

From the Rotten Groton Hash House Harriers, guest Hare Binocucock gives us this info:

“It’s all about the Hare Stylist! Better Coif Your Hair Or We Will Do It For You!”. Yes, you should be afraid. Devi-ate from the norm!! Accumul-ate new friends!  On out at O’Toole’s Irish Pub, located at 157 Orange Street, New Haven. 7:00PM Hashtime.

The 8th Annual New Haven Hash House Harriers Hashmat is just around the corner! Cum join us for a full weekend of hashing around some of the more savory areas of New Haven as we commemorate the 8th Anniversary of the original “Hashmat  Incident”, by NH4 founder Dr. Gonads.


Includes Friday Pub Crawl with beer, Saturday Hash with beer, full dinner and giveaways, Sunday Hangover Hash with beer and breakfast.

$69: February 21st – day of event

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$15: Long sleeved commemorative tee shirt

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We will contact you after you register for your hash name, kennel, and shirt size if ordered.

Weekend schedule:

Friday: Evening pub crawl, Time TBA, Rotten Groton H3 Guest Hare Bicockular/Binocucock…or whatever he’s choosing to call himself these days. 2 beer checks, on-in downtown New Haven bar. Hashy dance party to follow!!

Saturday: Check-in begins at 11:30am at Sports Haven, 600 Long Wharf Drive, New Haven. Plenty of onsite free parking! Beer and snacks upon arrival. On-out at 1:00pm – 4 drink checks on trail, On-in at Sports Haven with beer, buffet dinner, beer, betting vouchers, giveaways, beer, circle, beer.

Sunday: Hangover Hash, Time and location TBA, Skull & Boners H3 Guest Hare. Short trail with small breakfast, and did we mention beer?

Local Hotels:

La Quinta:   http://www.laquintanewhaven.com/

Courtyard New Haven:   http://www.marriott.com/hotels/travel/hvndt-courtyard-new-haven-at-yale/?pid=corptbta&scid=b661a3c4-9c47-48c8-9e13-75b66089dd79

New Haven Suites:   http://newhavensuites.com/

Check out our “Who’s Cumming” page too!!

Hash Trash: Dead Christmas Tree Hash

Hmmm, I didn’t realize Mathole was haring this hash…that must be why it was pouring out, right? But no. This time, our seasoned hare Smashmouth was at the helm of this freezing, rainy Sunday. The pack of 14 eagerly awaited their beloved hare in the parking lot of the Guilford train station, long past the start time, and we started wondering what may be keeping him. Did he forget about us? Did he get lost on his own trail? …a distinct possibility. Did he get entangled in some unforgiving “brambles”? Not quite.

From the Guilford Police Blotter, Sunday, 1/18/15: “A suspicious person complaint was investigated at 1:41pm. A man walking on Rte 146 towards Sachem’s Head (head, who said head?) was observed throwing white powder along the road side. Police determined the man was marking the road for a r*nning group.”

Let us pause for applause….

So Smashmouth finally shows up, covered in ‘white powder’ to find a group with hashers from New Haven, Groton, Skull and Boners, New York, and DC, eagerly awaiting his super-duper trail. Oh…and the rain stopped as soon as the drenched hare arrived too. We got more and more nervous as chalk talk went on…no boob checks, no dick checks, no song checks……NO BEER CHECKS. Upon hearing this, and as the taillights of the hare’s vehicle disappeared from sight, the pack split in two: The regular drunks and the super drunks.

The regular drunks, consisting of Tiajuana Donkey Fluffer, Back Tits McGee, Just Paulette, Master Hater, Marty McDie, Just Kate, Taint No Savior, Depantsipation Proclamation, and…Gay If It Suits Me? (Really GIISM?), took off after the ‘white powder’ marks. The super drunks, consisting of Tap That Teacher, Penis Fly Trap, Bitch Please, Just Sarah and Just Emily made their way straight to the closest dive bar…can’t remember the name and it’s too dive-y to even be listed on Google maps. Shortly after starting out, an exhausted Taint No Savior and Depantsipation Proclamation decided to join the super drunks, giving up on trail after 300 ft.

The regular drunks followed the hares’ marks carefully, going on an extended tour of historic downtown Guilford. The super drunks, having arrived at bar #1, hear a squeaky voice calling out “Wait, wait for me!” Just Kate , losing the trail as one is wont to do on a Smashmouth hash, blazed her own trail, unbeknownst right into the arms of the super drunks about to enter bar #1. After some quick pitchers, bar #2, Augur’s Pub, offered up some Irish hospitality, with Just Sarah reading to the group from a selection of books in the bar. I know, right? A hasher who can read….

Upon leaving the bar, Depantsipation Proclamation decided to jump over one of the myriad of puddles dotting the icy sidewalks, and down she went….cranium vs. pavement. Trooper that she is, she shook it off, nurse Penis checked her out for 1.2 milliseconds, and proclaimed her fine. Arriving back near the train station, a souped up-‘Fast and Furious’ type car pulls up, with TDF driving, and GIISM as passenger, off to look for Master Hater, who went missing some time earlier. GIISM jumped out, TTT jumped in, determined to short cut as much as possible.

Back at the station, the group left a sweet, thoughtful chalk message for Master Hater: “Master Hater. Take train back to New Haven”. After much use of technology, she was found wandering a few miles away, and rescued by TDF and his Batmobile.

The hashers all caravanned to the on-in, Smashmouth and Mrs. Smashmouth’s lake home; the hashers were surprised we were let inside at all! Circle was held in the kitchen, around the island, and down downs were awarded to: DFL – Cunt for Red Cocktober…who missed trail entirely, FRB - Back Tits or Marty…same thing. Auto-haring – GIISM, TTT, and TDF. Shortcutting – Super Drunks, tech on trail, TTT (shocker, I know). Getting lost – Master Hater and Just Kate. I’m sure there were more, but the chili that Mrs. Smashmouth made for the hungry hashers must be clouding my brain…till next time…TTT


My Bloody Valentine Hash, Saturday, February 14th

my-bloody-valentine-3dSo, here we have the 169th trail of the New Haven Hash House Harriers….what could be more fitting on Valentine’s Day?? Our hare, Marty McDie, will be leading us to our graves, I mean on a shitty trail on this most terrifying, I mean romantic, day of the year, through Branford. So cum by yourself, with your significant other, or roll the dice and hope to get lucky at the hash!

Trail: A to A

When: 1:00pm

Where: Ecology Park, Marshall Road, Branford

Miles: 5-ish

Beer checks: 2 – 3

Shiggy: Light to Mild (approx. 25% of trail)

Hash Cash: $5

Virgins: Always free!!!!

And don’t forget to register for Hashmat!!! Coming soon – Feb. 27, 28, and March 1!

Next Hash: Hi I’m Gay in the ‘burbs! Sat. Jan 31st

drunk-guy1So HIG is coming out to play again for one day. Here are the details of his hash:

On-out: Racebrook Tract Parking area. (Near where 905 Racebrook Road would be, if there was one).

Time: 1:00pm

Trail A to A, $5 Hash Cash

On-after: All important details here people! 46 Williamsburg Drive, Orange, HIG and Hot Box’s (along with rookie hasher Hits The Bottle) new suburban digs. Come help hash-christen their place! HIG will have some 9% home brewed hard cider, along with a bit of food and beer, but feel free to bring something to share.

Hi I’m Gay doesn’t get to come play very often, so let’s show him some support and get on his trail!!


Next Hash: Dead Christmas Tree Hash – Sunday, Jan. 18th

dead xmas tree

Please note: This is a Sunday, not a Saturday!!

Veteran hasher Smashmouth will lead us on an exciting trail through the historic Colonial town of Guilford, CT, maybe even through the “Prettiest Green in America”. On-out at the Guilford train station. Traditional trail: minimal shaggy, get drunk after trail (you know, as a reward for completing Smashmouth’s trail!)

A to A

Circle and on-after at B with food and drink.

From the hare: We have moved from the usual Saturday to avoid clashing with the Penis Withdrawal Celebration taking place on the Saturday. (Go to http://www.sbh3.com for more info). Hope those ‘coming specially’ for this occasion will stay overnight for this event. We shall start at 2:30pm at the Guilford RR station (Shore Line East train leaves NH Union Station at 2:10). If you must drive, it’s Exit 58 off I-95.

Warning: trail will be much more old-style than Boner, i.e. mostly tarmac (that’s pavement you Yanks) /minimal shaggy (no brambles) / no pre-lube (bring your own), no drink/tit/dick checks (bring chalk). But you can still get shitfaced; you just have to r*n (or w*lk) first.

Santa Con Hash


Our Hare, Hentai Me Down, will be laying a shitty trail that will loosely revolve around the New Haven SantaCon.

Com in full costume (or not, lazy wankers)! Be dressed as Santa, or an elf, or a reindeer, or a dreidel, or….

When: 1:00pm
Where: We will park and have circle in Jocelyn Square, New Haven. There should be better parking opportunities and a big park right there to do Chalk Talk and Circle. Please bring your vessels. (Jocelyn Square is the big park right in front of the old Humphrey’s, on Humprhey and East St.)

Virgins: Free
Hash Cash: $5
3 to 5 miles, A to A
Strollerable and doggable
Plenty of cold beer on trail
New shoes always encouraged!
Coppus no shootus! Doggus no biteus!


Hash of Mystery


A hash is generally rife with mysteries – but this trail will be extra-mysterious! You’ll stumble your way around Hamden, dodging impatient holdiay shoppers and perhaps some four-legged furry creatures, braving the elements, and following clues to move you forward, all to answer the most important question of all:


But beware! Your quest may feature a few red herrings or other mysterious events that could change the entire complexion of your hashing experience…

Who: Yet another awesome hash from hare Mathole!

When: Saturday, December 6th, 1:00pm

Where: Parking lot behind Home Depot. Route 10 (Dixwell Avenue), Hamden. (If you have a GPS, set it to 52 Lee Street).

Hash Cash: $5.00

Also bring: vessel, Cash for the on-after, virgins, your mystery-solving skills, and of course, new shoes.

Breakfast In America Hash!

True, SuperTramp has nothing to do with this Hash, with the exception of the booze-enhanced orange juice...

True, SuperTramp has nothing to do with this Hash, with the exception of the booze-enhanced orange juice…

Hashers!  You may be thinking to yourselves “Goddam DYD is a deadbeat, waiting to the last moment to release the top-secret address to Saturday’s Hash,” and I would have to agree with you and offer humble apologies, and then throw myself upon your merciful hearts when we make it to circle.

Breakfast in America Hash!  Hares Don’tYouDare and Virgin Hare Will (a.k.a Stabby Stabby) will lay a delightfully wicked trail through Hamden where there will be our beloved paved surfaces as well as a smile-inducing amount of off road Hashing.  No real shiggy to speak of, unless we can get your asses lost, and no poison ivy, which makes TTT damn near giddy.  There will be Bacon-Infused Bourbon on trail, as well at Oatmeal Stout.  Perhaps a bagel fight?  You’ll have to Hash it to find out for sure.  Oh, and there will be Big H3AD (winky).  On Out is EARLY!  10:00 AM!  And now for the details (if only to keep Back Tits at bay):

EVENT:  Breakfast in America Hash

Date:  Saturday, November 22nd

On Out:  10:00 AM, or 1000 for you Jarheads and Squids

Location:  41 Todd Street, Hamden CT 06518

Parking:  In the Farmington Canal Trail lot, or nearby and walk the trail to Todd Street

Distance:  About Four-ish miles

Strollerable:  Nope, definitely not.

Hash Cash:  $5.00 Cheap

New Shoes:  Always strongly encouraged

White Dress Hash – Winter is Cuming! Hare TTT!

R*cist behavior ala White Dress

R*cist behavior ala White Dress

This Saturday our own Tap That Teacher may be seen traipsing around the neighborhood of West Haven clad in nothing more than a diaphenous white schiff as she lays trail for our annual White Dress Hash – Winter is Cuming!  While TTT is always game for the saucier side of White Dresses (think Victoria’s Secret collides with Billy Idol’s White Wedding) she has expressed concern of a cold Hash now that we’re into the early part of Novembrrrr, so White Dress accordingly.  That’s right, skimpy rules the day, prudish attire drinks at Circle for being wusses.  Let the Hash details begin!

WHERE?  The far left of the parking lot near Jimmie’s at Savin Rock – 5 Rock Street, West Haven CT 06516.

DATE?  Saturday, Novembrr 8th.

ON OUT?  2:00 PM Sharpish!


HASH CASH?  $5, Cheap!

STROLLERABLE /DOGABLE?  Why do we even ask this?

SHIGGY?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  It’s West Haven, fer cryin out loud.

ID NEEDED?  Only if you want your corpse identified.

WHITE DRESSES?  Not mandatory, but kinda desired if you want to be sexy.

Lastly, there’s a special treat for every Hasher wearing new shoes!

On On!  DYD

Update to Dirty Hoe’s Nudes & Beer Hash!


Picasso apparently knew a thing or two about Hashing.


On the anniversary of Pablo Picasso’s birth, the hash in New Haven this
Saturday will feature cubist perspectives, psychedelic foliage, breathtaking
views, precipitous views, modern art, classical art, obscene art, decadent
art, delicious beer, gratuitous wine & cheese, and a perfectly situated food

Following extremes of barometric pressure, the weather has finally decided
to cooperate.

There will be a trail for hashers who would like to rampage through
approximately six miles of breathtaking beauty and a trail for hashers who
prefer only three miles of beauty.

Given the proximity to Halloween, costumes are not prohibited.

Note: Do not miss this hash unless you have one of the following conditions:
1. death
2. coma
3. viagra or cialis overdose (see your doctor)

The details may be found in prior emails, but they are duplicated below for
your convenience.

TIME: 2:00 PM


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